Past

My interest in being tied up started early with primitive self-binding experiments from when I was 5-6 years old and me being fond of pony play and capture games where I provoked my captors to tie me up from when I was 8-9 years old. Even if I had the first orgasm I remember by rubbing on a skipping rope tied through my crotch when I was 6 years old, I didn’t really start associating tying up with sex until I was 11 years old, about the onset of my puberty.

I discovered early on that most boys weren’t very interested in tying a girl up and playing with her, but they either backed away from such suggestions, or were more interested in being tied up themselves. Actually, my first experiences in being properly tied up, both non-sexually and sexually, were with other girls, and in my teens, I even had a relationship with a girl who enjoyed tying me up and playing with me. Still, I preferred men, had some short relationships involving being tied up, and eventually found a wonderful man, partner and lover, with whom I spent many happy years and who kept my desire to be tied up and helpless very satisfied, also introducing me to a lot of new kinky experiences, many of which I came to love. Unfortunately, it ended.

In-between relationships, I regressed to tying myself up, and with inspiration from my more adept partners, but also tutorials, descriptions, stories, images and videos I found online, I think I have become pretty good at it, even if it is never as good as being tied up by someone else who enjoys and is proficient at it. Still, I guess that’s where I am right now, in-between and waiting for my next villain in a dark cloak to come and tie me up.

I have engaged some in BDSM clubs and communities, but so far found none that’s really for me. Most seem to be for people searching an identity or group belonging, and even if being tied up is an important part of my life, it’s not an identity. I’ve met some really nice people that way, a few that I’m still in touch with, but they’re not good for finding partners, at least not for me. Most guys into tying up girls that I’ve met there are either occupied, monogamous or looking for more girls to their harems, looking for “real” slaves, submissives, masochists or sluts, or have traits I don’t find attractive, like psychopathy, domineering, bullying, amateur psychology, inexperience, pretending to be dominant, out of laziness or to find a hopefully switching partner. Been there, done that, got a few T-shirts, don’t need any more.